My Fitful Sleep
Am I doing too much? Am I reading too much? Working on too many projects? I always had the difficulty of not knowing how to relax properly in my downtime, always taking on projects then. I did confess this year to Marissa's dad that when I meditate I think of "nothing," which may be telling of my li'l brain. Still, I have multiple projects to tend to, filling my days and nights.
...Leading to my fitful sleep last night. Reading several books at once: My Sister's Keeper, Eat Pray Love, books on reducing clutter, and writing the encyclopedia article. I need to keep telling myself that sleep for me is paramount, more important than any project with a deadline two weeks away or a library book with a due date three weeks away. There is time---what is the hurry?
Karina and I were telling Christina last night that "there is no hurry; there is no rush." If we can be so calm in that portion of our lives, then why do I feel so driven, so masipag, in my academic portion of my life? Does this echo back to my college days when we estimated 400-700 average pages read per night by a Wellesley student?
Or does my healing hip play a role in all of this---my jockeying for a comfortable position to sleep in---first on my side, with a pillow "spacer" between my legs, then on my back, with a pillow supporting my operated leg. The Benadryl never seemed to kick in last night...a pack of cookies and milk finally did the trick.
I took a number of catnaps yesterday, which expanded to fill my afternoon until I woke and went to Faith Sharing at the Newman Center. Maybe I overslept yesterday afternoon; maybe I overdid it.
Whatever the cause, I didn't get much sleep last night and vow to make up for it today. This typing doesn't help, but may put me in a frame of mind to be other than somnambulant---doing my walkabout at night, while my eyes are half-asleep, little slits that peer out into the half-lit apartment.
Labels: BAD, blogs, encyclopedia, excited, Faith, family-Marissa, health, home, love, meditate, organizing, pain, philosophical, read, research, sleep, surgery, Wellesley, work, writing
posted by Grace @ 6/29/2008 08:09:00 AM
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