Advice at the Lovefest for the Lovefeted
At the square dance Sunday night M pulled me aside to give my "advice" for their Lovefest video. I sat down with her a distance from the called live music and began my three-fold advice:
Advice
~ First, there is Balance
~ Secondly, being right is NOT more important than the relationship
~ Thirdly, is advice I give to my students at the beginning of every semester:
Get enough good sleep
Get enough good food
Get enough good exercise
every day.
That's it!
Labels: love
Themes
Painting (Oil and Watercolor)
Art
Hot Weather
Music--Bernstein's Requiem, My favorite movement of all Vivaldi pieces, sacred acclamations from the Mass
making muesli from grain
Hornflakes
Panoramic Paintings
Hot weather
Meeting Jehovah's Witnesses
NOT climbing tower/s
Good food
Good Thai food
Seeking relief from the heat at a pool
seeing political leaders
Good company, throughout
Good homemade food
Good homemade Thai food
Good Indonesian rice table
assistive technology for exercising
Labels: accessibility, art, dining, exercise, health, list, love, music, painting, shopping, water exercise, weather
List VIII--A Review
So, the girls (Stacy, Regina, and I) talked about relationships over noodle and veggie dishes this afternoon. When pressed to come up with a list of qualities, I quickly rattled off two:
Nice
Available (emotionally, geographically, Literally!)
but slowed down a tad after that. (Perhaps it would have been helpful to have my List VII on hand...
"Does he have to be educated?"
Regina quizzed. I explained that native intelligence/gift/talent is more important.
"Sense of humor,"
Stacy indicated, helpfully.
"He doesn't have to be as high energy as I am,"
I said, thinking---circle/slash on the hi E.
Accepting of me, and acceptable to me (circular reasoning here?)
Tolerant of me and tolerable to me
close to my age (+/- 10 years)
There must be more, but it escapes me now.
~~~
Reliable
Honest
Monogamous
(Okay, I cheated and looked at List VII!
So here I write about what Stacy and Regina call "deal breakers"---and my cousin called preferences, not absolutes.
"I don't have any deal-breakers except those that are unhealthy for me. For example, I have asthma, so I could not be with someone who is a heavy smoker. I also could not be with someone who is a spouse abuser."
My girlfriends found this obvious, but there are people out there who "some of them want to abuse you, [and] some of them want to be abused," as Annie Lennox sang in the Eurythmics song. I am neither of those two kinds of people.
Affinity
"You'll know," Regina and Stacy both intoned.
circle/slash weirdo
List V recounts details of more of my List qualities...
Labels: dining, friends, list, love
SIS Distinguished Alumnus Award
Yesterday I lectored at Mass in the morning. Ken provided music ministry at the portative organ, John was the altar server, and Fr. Kim had switched with Fr. Bill for the morning Mass. The first reading was from the Acts of the Apostles, and the Gospel reading spoke about dropping the nets in a fortuitous place for catching fish. Fr. Kim spoke about Youth Ministry before Mass, and Ken spoke about the church on Polish Hill and photographs on the web. <48>
I dropped off my packets of graded papers from this week for my students to pick up just after noon.
Mom, Dad, and I had lunch (pancit! beef peanut soup! and strawberries and pears!), and then I took a nap.
I graded quizzes from about 14.00 to 17.30, half-finishing my task.
I went home to change for the School of Information Sciences Distinguished Alumni & Professional Achievement Awards Ceremony at the Athletic Association. My former professor, Ange Pollis, was awarded the Distinguished Alumni Award for 2010. Ken S was awarded the 2010 Professional Achievement Award. His family was present, as was Ange's, and I asked him if he were related to my classmate A, who started Protest Easy Guns (he's not). Ange and her sister Helen were and looked lovely, and we chatted easily at times throughout the evening.
I caught up with SLA friends Denise, Kim G, and I met SIS Alumni president Joe I. Carolyn B was there, and we chatted about her daughter growing up.
A lovely evening.
Labels: biology, celebration, dine, lector, library, list, love, Mass, photos, read, school, seasons, St. Paul Cathedral, student, teaching, work
Findings
Just found another item I had thought was lost. A nice gift from a friend. A little worse for the wear, it is, but O Well, what can I do about it? Dwelling on it can only drive me crazy (er).
So, in finding things that I've lost, I see that:
Things are not always found where I expect them to be. At all.
The message from the universe has been to get my personal life more organized/neater. (I told my friends this earlier this week.)
I guess I just have to keep neatening up /straightening up / redding up until I find everything that's misplaced /displaced.
Labels: art, career, cleaning, gift, honor, jewelry, list, love, mystery, niece and nephew, organizing, patient, philosophical, photos, safety
The Ten-Year Plan...
I can't believe that it's been TEN years already since Y2K!" I exclaimed to my seat mates at the table at tea this afternoon, at the beginning of the afternoon.
Stephanie stated at the completion of the meal that she remembered talking to a job coach approximately ten years ago about her personal and professional goals and plans. And here she is, fulfilling them.
I need to make a list to see how I am meeting my objectives (perhaps). Maybe I don't need goals like Karina's: the man, the dog, the house. Maybe I just need objectives: Vehicles for me to get out and to circulate more, to broaden my horizons. As I go about meeting my objectives, I will enjoy life and meet more people.
There's MY plan.
Labels: career, energy, family, friends, list, love, meeting, music, voice, Wellesley, work
Glamour, Game Shows, Dating Advice, and...Work?!
Here is a link from Glamour Magazine that shows how successful game show contestents have similar qualities as successful dates.
• Be open-minded.
• Stay engaged with the interviewer and the world around you.
• Learn to laugh at yourself.
• Energy, energy, energy!
• Be authentic.
As someone who teaches, I realize that I tell my students ideas for studying from game shows:
• Have a study group.
• Divvy up the work.
• Make up sample questions and quiz each other.
• Play the game!
• Be ready for virtually any fair question.
• It's okay to look foolish...but only while practicing.
• It's all up to YOU in the end.
• Don't be surprised by comprehensive questions. It's a final exam.
• Don't be surprised by manipulatives: It's a practical exam.
Of course, I don't necessarily say the above-mentioned sentences. I tell them specific advice from a lab, examples. Some of them "get" it, and others don't listen. It's not up to me to make them do their work.
So, the theme for today's blog post is GAME SHOWS.
Mom's favorite game show is Jeopardy! She's been watching it since the beginning. Intelligentia trivia, I see why she likes it so much.
Karina mentioned this week a game show similar to "Name that Tune" from India at which I would be good. Linking music....
Game shows: One of my favorite genres for watching tv, and for helping students to study.
I must write more in a future post.
Labels: games, list, love, student, surprise, teaching, tests, TV, work
Evening
The movie Evening (2007) had the central character, Ann, played by Vanessa Redgrave, seeking---but not finding---peace throughout the movie. This film showed her relations to her family, friends, and nurse and showed her flashbacks in time, all from her deathbed. She sought peace through her singing, her being in love with her (then-)young daughters and with her first infatuation.
Her avatar for seeking peace was Harris, her first infatuation and who continued as a point of longing throughout her long life. She even asked her friend on her deathbed about him, despite the fact that she was aware that he was not available to her.
Labels: cinema, farewell, love
List VII
From Oprah's website:
A relationship is only as strong as its weakest link — how a couple handles their challenges.
True love is not a wish list but a "wish feeling." And the number one feeling — even before the feeling of love — is the feeling of safety. Without feeling safe, you will never feel true love. You must have trust in your partner's character and prioritize finding a partner who is honest, communicative, and empathic — someone who values growing — so you can feel safe to vulnerably be your truest core self with him — and then together the two of you can support one another to grow into your best possible selves. --Karen Salmansohn
Karen Salmansohn is a best-selling author known for creating self-help for people who wouldn't be caught dead reading self-help. Get more information on finding a loving happier-ever-after relationship in her book Prince Harming Syndrome.
~ ~ ~
About that list I've made...I guess most of my wish list captures a desire to know that the Other's character is good: Nice and available, reliable, honest, good character and monogamous, etc. etc.
Labels: list, love
Heaven on Earth: A Second Life
When at a street fair in Philadephia this past month, I overheard someone saying, "And when dancers stop dancing...." referring to the second career of dancers after their oft-times truncated performing life is over. I turned to my friend Sara and said, "There's not a whole lot of us dancers who dance again after stopping. [and, as in explanation:] Now, my new hips let me dance again."
I know that my original acetabular structure should not have allowed me to dance--no, wait, to WALK. But I was able to dance (en pointe), run, hurdle, rockclimb, horseback ride, ski (downhill and nordic), do aikido (including taking high falls), and a multitude of other activities. It's a wonder that I could even walk (and I've been told that by others, too). I was blessed.
Then the structures became arthritic, and I am fortunate that I live in a time and place on this planet that I could get physical therepy, then subsequently obtain operations to "repair" my hips. I'm older now, and can't do most of the activities I mentioned that I could do fifteen or more years ago, due to limitations on my new bionic hips. But I'm doubly blessed, because I've been given a second chance on life. I can still walk. I can still dance. One of my friends calls my situation a "second life." And it is so. You hear people talk about Heaven as a place where there is no pain, and where one can dance and play like when younger, and where you are surrounded by people who love you. My, my, my, then: I am now living a Heaven on Earth! [*Pyuh, pyuh, may I not be jinxed*]
It reminds me of the song sung by Lee Ann Womack, "I Hope You Dance."
Labels: BAD, dance, exercise, love, music, Songs, surgery, walking
Successful Women...
and marriage. Two stories about them on the Root and on NPR.
Labels: list, love
Third Day Without a Cane, Man on Wire
So, it's my third day without a cane. Slept about six hours last night, dropped off a little "care package" for Mom & Dad on my way to physical therapy. Dad, Mom, and I met over lunch, and then Dad and I went home to pick up my wallet, I picked up the DVD Man On Wire (for viewing tonight at the Newman Center) at the public library, then headed to Fox Chapel for some purchases.
Dad and I tried the coffee toffee chocolate Frosty at Wendy's, and I picked up a sandwich for dinner while there, too. We headed home, then I checked out my purchases, and am blogging before viewing the movie tonight with friends. This movie comes highly recommended by Jonathan.
~~~
15 August 2009
Earlier this week, Jonathan wrote about Man on Wire,
It describes the audacious attempt of a Frenchman Phillipe Petit to walk a wire strung between the WTC Twin Towers in 1974.
When Petit sends his friend Jean-Louis a picture of the towers with a wire drawn connecting them at the top, Jean-Louis says, as only a Frenchie would, “Of course. That’s why they were built. For Phillipe.”
At one point Petit says, “All right, it’s impossible. Now let’s begin working on how to do it.”
Phillipe Petit has left an indelible incredible legacy.
What will mine/your’s be?
J.
Maureen, Christina, and I watched the film together last night, and I noticed that we discussed issues of the relationships between individuals in the movie, namely:
Nous [les trois femmes] pensons que c'était dégoutant que Petit a un liaison avec une femme etrangée au lieu de sa petite amie, Annie;
et
il a un charme assez de personnalité qu'il peut faire rapidement des amis pour accomplir ses exploits, mais il a perdu ses relations avec Annie et Jean-Louis, peu après le WTC danse en l'air;
et
Il a une qualité qui est rafraîchissante et comme un enfant, qui englobe les activités du cirque ... il m'a rappelé de Michael Jackson;
et
Annie a été presque maternelle ou comme une sœur quand elle a parler de lui, comme ses autres amis.
et
En se référant à la vie après le WTC danse en l'air, Annie mentionne qu'il a devenu en proie à la gloire.
C'était mes pensées de ce film.
So, I found it immensely interesting that the female perspective on the movie revolved around the relationships between Petit and his support network, whereas Jonathan's perspective on the movie was predominantly on the feat he accomplished.
Labels: Carnegie, cinema, dance, dining, international culture, languages, library, love, shopping, sleep, walking, weather
Turn it on its head: Hints for a Good Marriage
From Microsoft Network, hints for a good marriage.
Labels: list, love, philosophical
No response....
What to do if there is no response...
Labels: list, love
Add to the List
I spoke with my friend, Pratima, this weekend. She stressed that "reliability" (I guess that falls within "available") is an important quality in a partner.
I just read an article from Oprah Radio, with additional qualities listed, care of Rabbi Shmuley Boteach:
Look in places that "that foster purpose, compassion, hard work and spiritual commitment."
Labels: list, love, work
This I believe
Found a web log this morning called "This I believe." I went through some of the various headings, in this order:
Respect
Love
Science
Disability
Empathy and Compassion
My favorite posting was one I read under "Empathy & Compassion."
Labels: accessibility, blogs, dreams, international culture, love, philosophical, science
Bakery run!
Off to a bakery run with Maureen to Highland Park! O joy...
She wants to get a pie for her brother, the same that is Fr. Mike's favorite.
~~~
13:30
I got one pie too, and we each got a slice of sweet or savory breakfast layered strata or pudding. We shared some madeleines, dipped cookies over the computer (the virtual hip replacement website and her Facebook links).
Labels: computer, dance, dine, dining, love, smell
Happy Valentines Day
to yinz!
Labels: love
No More...
No More...
ballet en pointe (what's new?)
aikido
rockclimbing
ice skating
roller blading
bicycling on city streets
horseback riding
downhill skiing
Can still...
walk
talk (that's for sure!)
carry a stick
Will be able to (after my next surgery)...
run
maybe even hurdle again!
do certain stretches again.
We'll see about...
playing the violin!
I wrote to my friend about a fortnight ago my thoughts:
Sometimes I think of things I used to do in my "former life" which I cannot now do....downhill skiing, rockclimbing, ice skating, running distances, etc. I haven't been able to do these things recently because of the pain, anyway. But part of growing is letting go of those things that may keep me from my focus that I need to focus on NOW.
Labels: accessibility, dance, exercise, friends, light, list, love, pain, philosophical, surgery, swim, talent, thankfulness, walking
The REAL reasons III--Failure Analysis
The REAL reasons I'm still single:
I don't like guys who joke about s assault in the news (yes, this was true this week--even if he is interested in me!)
I don't want to end up someone's personal secretary or calendar book (I kid you not.)
I'm a "knurdy gurl." (To the max)
I'm too independent.
I'm happy with my life as it is now.
Labels: list, love, philosophical
